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The 7 deadly sins of instant messaging
Chanpory Rith | Nov 9 2007
I heart instant messaging, but I heart it too much. If you’re a chat addict like me, you understand the lure. It’s convenient, connecting you to faraway buddies with little cost. It’s safe, releasing you from the worry of looking pretty or sounding sexy. And its deliciously fun. How can you not love video effects, screensharing, and presentation-hosting in Leopard’s iChat? Despite the benefits, instant messaging can turn you into a mindless chat drone. Too much chatting replaces real interactions and, soon, people turn into pixels. To bring richer conversations back into your life, here are 7 bad chatting habits to stop right now. I’ve formatted them as a “not-to-do” list:
Am I missing other deadly sins? What terrible chat habits are you overcoming? 9 Comments
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 number 3 is wrongSubmitted by kevwil on November 9, 2007 - 9:58am.
Slow, take your time, reply to me whenever messages are called “e-mail”. If your IM client is online and “available”, I would find it rude to ignore my instant message. »
 Not really.Submitted by EvilSpy on November 9, 2007 - 11:48am.
I’d disagree. The instant in “instant message” implies delivery, not response. Do you always remember to set yourself “away” when you step away from the computer? I’d think it’s more rude to simply assume you can barge in on whatever the recipient is doing and expect them to drop everything and respond immediately. As he said, if you need an immediate response, face-to-face or telephone is a more appropriate medium than instant messaging. »
#3 and #6Submitted by djdowns on November 11, 2007 - 2:37pm.
I agree with kevwil on #3. It drives me nuts when I am conversing with someone via IM and wait three minutes for each response. I expect an immediate reply, just as though we were talking face-to-face. Ignoring our conversation to browse, shop iTunes, read, or chat with others is just plain rude. I call people on this all the time. A passive-aggressive “Well, it seems as though you are too busy to chat, so I will talk to you later” comment often works wonders. While #6 might be good advice for females and minor celebrities, it doesn’t really impact the rest of us, in my experience. Few will bother you online, and even if they do, ending it is a simple “ignore” click away. »
 My personal IM ruleSubmitted by Christian on November 9, 2007 - 2:00pm.
Do not set your status to online. I use “Leave a message” as status. Then my contacts don’t expect much. After all I don’t use IM because I wan’t people to disturb me. I use it to be able to harrass my friends when I’m bored. »
I use it to be able toSubmitted by Drift on November 11, 2007 - 6:31pm.
I use it to be able to harrass my friends when I’m bored. »
 Don't forget about InvisibilitySubmitted by Chanpory on November 15, 2007 - 12:58pm.
I’m also loving invisible mode in Leopard iChat. Better that setting your message to Away, since people will often disregard and message you anyway. »
Turn off g-mail chat!Submitted by alexan on November 9, 2007 - 10:01pm.
The other day it finally occurred to me that seeing friends on the g-mail buddy list window was causing a tiny stress response in me. I would feel obligated to say hello to people every once in a while, which would involve keeping track of when I’d last talked to whom…an “open loop” if you will. Especially since I’m logged into g-mail for long periods of time sometimes (another habit I should break.) For now I think I’ll just keep it signed off by default and peek in if I feel like it. I don’t need a web leash. »
 Just Like a Cell PhoneSubmitted by tarsi210 on November 12, 2007 - 9:40am.
I treat IM just like my cell phone — it is for MY convenience, not yours. If I don’t want to answer it, I won’t. If you have to speak to voicemail and leave a message, deal with it. The problem is that people accept the instantaneous nature of modern electronics as their obligation to respond to any inquiry, essentially making us slave to the devices instead of master of a handy tool. Sure, I can agree that once I start a conversation with you on IM, I do expect that you’ll respond in a timely manner, unless we’re making random commentary or you specifically sign off. My time is valuable, too, and I try to return the courtesy to others. But don’t expect me to be there or actually answer it when I am just because I’m online. I have other things in life than my IM contacts. It’s all a matter of what you accept and allow, I figure. Control your life — not the other way around. :) »
About ChanporyBio Chanpory helms LifeClever, a blog about design, productivity, and “life hacks.” During the day, he’s an interaction designer for Dubberly Design Office in San Francisco. He’s also pushed pixels for MetaDesign, MoveDesign, Youth Radio, and McShane Adigard Design (MAD). When not feeling modest, he likes to brag about his interaction and branding work for Macworld, PC World, Symantec, Adobe, Yahoo!, and Four Seasons Hotel. |
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